How Stories, Advice, and Real-Life Moments Help Me Grow as a Husband and Father
Family is messy. Family is wonderful. Family is also the place where our oldest lessons and our deepest wounds live.
I’m a father of three. Sayhan is 15. My daughter is 11. And my youngest is a 20-month-old ball of energy. I used to work in banking. I left that structured life to build a career online as a content strategist and SEO analyst. Between deadlines and nursery runs, I’ve learned two things: books help, and storytelling heals.
These six books, four nonfiction and two novels, have stuck with me. They helped me be a better husband. A more patient father. A man who tries, often imperfectly, to listen first.
Quick list
- The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read — Philippa Perry
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Lindsay C. Gibson
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman
- Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members — Sherrie Campbell
- My Sister’s Keeper — Jodi Picoult
- And the Mountains Echoed — Khaled Hosseini
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read: Philippa Perry
This one felt like a clinic and a warm cup of tea at the same time. Perry is a psychotherapist, but she writes like a neighbour who tells you the truth kindly.
The chapter on pregnancy is gold. I read it while we were expecting our second child. It changed how I spoke to my wife during late nights and hospital visits. It made me see the baby as a person from the start. Not a checklist.
What I took home was simple. Listen more. Name feelings out loud. Stop trying to fix every upset with advice. Just be there. That small shift changed many noisy evenings into moments of calm.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Lindsay C. Gibson
This book gave me words for something I’d felt but not named. Gibson explains the patterns of emotionally unavailable parents. She maps out what that looks like in everyday life.
Reading it helped me notice how I reacted when Sayhan started to push back as a teen. I stopped and asked myself where that reaction came from. Often it was a reflex shaped by my upbringing.
The book isn’t about blame. It is about understanding. And then choosing different responses. That helped me show up steadier at the dinner table. And it helped me be more patient when my daughter needs extra attention.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: John Gottman
Gottman is the one I first found on Reddit back when I was planning to become a better man for my then fiancé and now wife. We started reading it together. For 30 minutes before bed we read a chapter. It has become a small ritual.
The idea of creating shared meaning stuck with me. We started tiny traditions. Random picnics. Trying new foods. Little rituals that are now our inside jokes. Those moments add up. They build the “us” that survives long days and toddler tantrums.
This book taught me marriage is practice. It taught me repair matters more than perfection.
Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Sherrie Campbell
Setting boundaries is one of the hardest lessons. Campbell lays out practical, humane ways to cut ties or limit contact when a relationship is harmful.
I have recommended this book to friends and to people I mentor. One close friend used its tools when she went no-contact with a family member. She said the book’s step-by-step approach made the decision feel less chaotic and more like self-respect.
If you’re facing that impossible choice, Campbell’s voice is steady. It reminds you that protecting your mental health is not selfish. It is essential.
My Sister’s Keeper: Jodi Picoult
This novel hit me in a different way. Fiction can hold up a mirror that nonfiction cannot. Picoult tells the story of Anna, conceived to save her sister. The moral questions are sharp. The characters are messy and real.
I read it on a slow afternoon. Later, my wife and I argued about what we would do in that situation. That argument was a good argument. It helped us understand the edges of our own compassion and fear.
Great fiction does that. It gives you a place to rehearse hard conversations. It makes family choices feel less abstract.
And the Mountains Echoed: Khaled Hosseini
Hosseini writes family as history. This book spans cities, decades, loyalties, and regrets. It shows how one choice can echo across generations.
I read passages aloud to my wife on a rainy night. We paused often. The book reminded us that sacrifice and love are complicated. That sometimes parents make decisions that leave long shadows. That sometimes the only thing that holds a family is the effort of trying again.
20 Years of Marriage, Family Moments, and Everyday Lessons
This year, 2025, my wife and I celebrate 20 years of marriage. Can you believe it? Two decades, and somehow it still feels like we are newlyweds. We make time for each other, for laughter, and for little adventures. Books, stories, and family lessons are part of this journey, but so is living life fully with the people you love.
Every snapshot of our life reminds me of the value of presence, patience, and playfulness. From quiet mornings with our toddler to reminiscing about our older kids growing up, each moment shapes the story of our family.
How these books live in our home
I do not pretend to have it all right. Not even close. But I do try. I try to listen when Sayhan gets quiet. I try to make space when my daughter needs to practice a song. I try to leave the laptop closed on weekend mornings and be present for our toddler’s chaotic, perfect routines.
These books gave me language and tools. They gave my wife and me ideas we could test and adapt. They also gave us material for late-night talks. For the small rituals that became ours.
If you read one, let it be Perry’s. If you read two, add Gottman. If you need courage, Campbell will help. If you like stories that stay in the chest after the lights go off, Picoult and Hosseini are there.